35 Things I've Learned in 35 Years

Hello There, Friend.

I thought I would sit and write a post of 35 things I've learned in 35 years. Not exactly sure how I'm 35 though, wasn't I just 16 like two days ago? *Sigh*

With every year that passes I notice changes in myself as a person. In my mindset, the way I live my life, things I'll tolerate in my life, etc. My teens, 20's, 30's... each decade has brought many ups and downs that have definitely shaped me into the person I am today.

I'll be real with you guys. Some of the things I list below I have learned, but they are still a work in progress for me. Some lessons are hard! Sometimes you actually have to stop to remind yourself of these things! But, this is life. No one is perfect. As long as we are living, learning, and trying our best... we are winning in my opinion.

So... in no particular order, here we go.


35 Things I've Learned in 35 Years

1. Be YOU! You are bea-U-tiful just as you are!
Always be authentic and true to yourself. If there is something you wish to change about yourself, make sure you are making that change for YOU and not for someone else. You will wake up seriously unhappy one day if you are living life for someone else and not for yourself. Live YOUR life, YOUR way! Do what feels right for... YOU!

2. Comparing yourself to others will only steal your joy.
By sitting and comparing yourself to others you will only steal your own joy in life. Everyone is on their own journey, and are at different levels of that journey. Focus on how you're watering your own grass and not how others are watering theirs. You will be much happier!

3. It's OK to need help sometimes.
I truly struggle with this one. I, to this day, hate asking for help. But... I've finally come to realize that even though I don't like having to ask for help... it's actually OK too! You don't have to be a rock all the time. Everyone needs help sometimes... and that's OK! 

4. You don't have to keep people in your life that drain you.
Honest to God. It does not matter if they are a friend you've had for years or a member of your family. If this person causes you significant grief on a regular basis and drains you... you are under no obligation to keep them in your life. It's OK to let them go. Be sure to choose your circle wisely.

5. Life is tough... but you're tougher!
You have zero control over what situations life throws at you sometimes. But... you absolutely have control over how you react and deal with said situations. You are capable of surviving your darkest days. Have faith in your own strength and remind yourself that you have survived 100% of your darkest days thus far. You've got this! 

6. Perfection... Does not exist!
Perfection will never exist. You need to come to grips with that fact sooner rather than later. Honestly. Good enough... is good enough! There is no need to worry and stress yourself out trying to be "perfect" when no such thing exists.

7. Love the home you have.
Home is wherever you are together with the people you love. No matter where you currently live. Whether it's your dream home or a place you can't wait to move out of... love the home you have right now. As long as you have a roof over your head and have your family with you... you truly are blessed.

8. Support Local!
I believe in the importance of supporting local when you're able to. There are so many benefits of doing so; Fresher food, one of a kind homemade items, building community... just to name a few. Do a little research to see what your local community offers. I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised. #LoveLocal

9. Time you enjoy wasting... is not wasted time.
For real. If there are some days you just want to sit on your rear and binge watch Netflix all day, or stay in bed and catch up on some sleep. Do it! Nowhere is it written that you need to be on the go, and productive ALL the time. Take time to just "be" and relax. Self-care... it's a magical thing. 

10. Self-Care is necessary.
Speaking of Self-care...
Self -care is absolutely necessary for your own personal mental and physical well being. It took me a long time to realize just how important it is. And... that you don't have to feel guilty for taking time for you. YOU matter! Whether it's reading your favorite book, going for a walk, binge watching a TV show, writing in a journal, taking a bath.... whatever that thing is that makes you feel relaxed, refreshed, and at peace. Take time to do it!

11. Everyone deserves to be happy...
Everyone on this planet has the right to be happy. Do not always sacrifice your own happiness for the happiness of others. Others are responsible for their own happiness, just as you are responsible for yours... keep that in mind. Also, don't go stepping on anyone else's sunshine either. As long as they're not hurting anyone... let people be happy doing their thing.

12. Others opinions of you... do NOT matter!
Honestly. Others opinions of you are really none of your business. They truly don't matter. Do your best, be a good person, and live your life! No matter what you do some people will find something negative to say. That's ALL on them, not you. You can't control how others behave... but you can choose how you react to it. 

13. Don't be a sheep!
For real. Don't be a sheep. Don't follow the 'herd' just because it seems like it's the socially acceptable, popular thing to do. Think for yourself! Make your own decisions, do your own thing. If some of your paths in life are off the beaten path and are dirt... darlin'... you're doing something right! Those will be the times you learn the most.

14. It's important to set boundaries.
It's so important to set boundaries in your life. Decide what you will and will not accept... and stand by that. YOU show people how to treat you by what you are willing to accept and tolerate. YOU need to set those boundaries... because darlin'... takers never will. 

15. Love... is important!
First and foremost be sure to love yourself. You are your most important relationship after all. Then love your family, your friends, and significant other... fiercely. No future days are promised to you... love them now, love them hard... because you never know when your last days with them will be.

16. All men... are not the devil. (lol)
It took me a long time to accept that. I was a man hater. True story. I was hell-bent on being single, independent, and proving I didn't need any of them. That's what being burned can do to you if you're not careful... but that's a whole other can of worms. Now though, I have a changed mindset and the most amazing man in my life. I truly could not have asked for a better person to enter mine and my son's life. I truly feel blessed.

17. Being a parent is hard... but it's also worth it.
Being a parent is both the hardest and most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life. Being a single Mom was in no way easy... but I wouldn't change it for the world. There are so many people in the world who want children and can not have them. I feel blessed to have had the chance to be "Mom" to my boy.

18. Nobody really knows what they're doing.
Honestly. No matter how put together someone's life looks on the outside... I'm convinced we are ALL just winging it. No one's life is perfect. Perfect doesn't exist! Every day we're all just living, making mistakes, learning from those mistakes, and attempting to do better the next time. 

19. Your ducks will never be in a row for long.
No really.  Every single time you think you have your ducks in a row, just wait. One of those little quackers will waddle off, I assure you. lol No matter how planned out you may have your life... unexpected things will always happen to shake things up. Ya just gotta learn how to keep getting those ducks back in line. Even if it's only for a little while. 😉

20. Live in the moment.
Who needs a plan all the time? Make sure you live in the moment, at least sometimes. That's when all the truly happy moments happen anyways, right? Those unexpected, unplanned moments can offer some pretty fun surprises and adventures. Look at them as blessings, and treasure them.

21. Don't always take life so seriously.
Live. Laugh. Have a little fun and enjoy yourself. You can't be all business and no play. Enjoy yourself and don't always be so serious. Nobody gets out of this life alive anyway... so you may as well enjoy yourself a little.

22. Time really does fly by.
It's true what they say to you when you're younger. Time really does seem to fly by faster the older you get. For real... don't blink, you might actually miss something.

23. Know when to walk away.
Honestly. Tell people to save their drama for their Momma. You have the choice to tell people to take their drama elsewhere. You do NOT have to participate in every piece of drama and argument that comes your way. Learn when to speak, and when to just walk away.

24. Mental health... is a BIG deal.
Mental illness... is real. The struggle... is REAL! I personally know the struggle all too well. I haven't quite decided if I want to publicly share the details of my battles yet. But... if you are reading this, and you are struggling with a Mental Health battle of your own, please know... you are NOT alone. Much love goes out to you. Even though it feels like no one cares some days... people out here DO care. Honestly. 💓 

25. You need to listen to your body and take care of yourself.
Trust me when I tell ya... if you don't listen to your body and try to take care of yourself... it will catch up to you. And when it does it will kick you right in the @ss! I actually have a handful of issues currently kicking my @ss... and it's HARD to handle on a daily basis! Maybe if I took better care of myself along the way, it would have made a little difference in the present.

26. It's OK if some days... you are NOT OK.
It's OK. Really. Feel what you're feeling. Get mad, be sad, get scared, be overwhelmed, it's okay. We all feel that way sometimes. You do not have to have your sh*t together ALL the time. Give yourself permission to sit down and have a real ugly cry if you need to. No judgment here... I'd probably sit and cry with you. lol

27. Pets... make good best friends.
Honestly. Our Cats are sometimes the best therapy cats ever. They just know when you aren't feeling top notch and need a little snuggle. Having a fur-family member can be very therapeutic and I can't imagine not having them in our life.

28. If all you want is a Simple, Mediocre life... that's OK.
Don't let society brainwash you into thinking you have no choice but to join the crowds and live a super rushed lifestyle. If all you want is a simple, uncomplicated, mediocre life... have at 'er. Personally, I think it's the way to go. If you're always so busy that you never 'stop to smell the roses'... how are you really enjoying anything? A quiet, drama free, simple, non-busy life... can actually be pretty darn amazing!

29. Be happy with what you have.
Be happy with what you have at this moment. There's someone out there wishing for what you have right now. If you are living life always chasing after the next bigger, newer, better thing; spending money you don't really have, to probably impress people you don't even like much. Well... 1. You are not really living in the moment. 2. You're not appreciating what you already have. 3. You will never truly be happy. You will always be chasing the next bigger, newer, better thing. Be happy... in the now, with what you have. It's enough! If you're going to chase anything... chase your dreams!

30. Your material possessions own you - You do not own them.
If your house is overrun with material possessions, ask yourself why? Those possessions you "love" so much... you don't own them, they own you! You need to spend your valuable time and money maintaining and caring for these things. Are they worth it? Before you bring anything new into your home, ask yourself; Is it useful? Will it truly make me happy? Does it add value to our home? Is there a place for it? 

31. You need to accept your past and move forward.
It's important for us to work through any past hurts so that we may fully move forward with our lives. If you live with focusing on negative things that may have happened in your past, you are robbing yourself of your present, and future happiness. Do whatever it is you need to do to help you accept your past and move on from it. It's for your own well being, I promise. After all, you can't really start a new chapter if you are constantly re-reading the previous one.

32. You can't control what life throws at you...
You may not be able to control all the surprise curve balls that life throws your way. BUT... you can control how you choose to react to them. Your thoughts are the only thing you truly have any control over. Your ability to choose one thought over another is what determines how your day, and experiences will go. Choose wisely.

33. It's not you... it's them!
 Sometimes you're going to cross paths with sh*tty people. No matter what you do they are just miserable, life-sucking souls that get off on treating you terribly. As long as you're doing your thing, being a good person, living your best life... don't let them get to you. Promise me that you'll remember that it's not you, it's them! Don't let them suck your joy from you. You always have the choice to remove this kind of people from your life. You are under no obligation to tolerate being treated poorly.

34. Everyone is fighting some sort of battle.
Everyone you meet is fighting some sort of personal battle. Just because it may seem insignificant to you, does not mean it feels insignificant to them. Be kind! Don't diminish their feelings. What they are feeling is real. Listen if they want to talk it out. Support the best way you know how. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

35. It's NEVER too late!
Truth. It's never too late for you to right wrongs you may have done. To make new friends. To learn a new skill or hobby. To change your life for the better in whatever way that may bring joy, contentment... and happiness to your everyday. You're worth the effort. 😊


Well, there you have it. 35 Things I've Learned in 35 Years. Phewf, it was a long one.

If you've read to the end here, you deserve a high five! Seriously, thanks for reading. You're a star! ⭐

What is something that you've learned along your journey? I'd love to hear in the comments below.

As always,

Much Love,